你是否经历过在采访过程中或是交谈过程中,你想要跟他说话的那个人却起身离开呢?或是做在椅子上摇摇晃晃?或是左顾右盼?你是什么感觉?大部分人感觉很受伤害。听众的行为表现出他或她对说话者所谈的内容一点兴趣都没有。然而,当轮到他们发言的时候,他们却希望大家能够集中精力。
你是否经历过在一次激烈的交谈中你意识到你的搭档对你的谈话没有任何意识?可能是因为你表达观点或是发表演讲的方式不对或是对方本来就不想听。大多数应届毕业生似乎更不善倾听。
因此,该如何学习倾听呢?接下来是一些提示,对任何情况下的倾听者都有帮助。
1.学着用眼神进行交流:让说话者知道你对他说的非常感兴趣;
2.不要急着说话:有时候,人们想大声发表高见;有时候,他们所需要的只是一个可以依靠的肩膀和一对善于倾听的耳朵。不要急着说话,让别人把话说完或是将事情解决好;
3.坚守秘密:
人们信任你和你的信息是因为他们相信你不是一个爱讲闲话到处散播流言蜚语的人。保留这份信任,让秘密坚守在你们两人之间;
4.要专心
学着积极倾听,让对方知道即使你没有说一句话也表明你确实是在听,你也不时发出一些“是的,恩,我知道,这是真的,好的,很有意思”之类的声音。这些都显示出你和他们在同一个调上而且在跟随他们的谈话;
5.表示感激
让对方感到敞开心怀同你说话是万分荣幸的。假如没有什么私话可说的话,要让对方知道你是花时间在听并从中获益匪浅。在一个忘记表达感激的社会,一句简单的善意的话语就会让别人感到很高兴。表现出善意和欣赏也会对你的采访大有帮助。;
6.同一个语调
不要因为自己心不在焉而不晓得自己到底说到哪了。无论你确实要起身离开或是开小差,无论
已经起身离开或已经在开小差,都是不文明的表现。假如你发现你集中注意力的时间很短,不妨主动重复对方刚刚说的话以保持注意力。
Learn how to be a good listener.
Have you ever been in a middle of an interview or even in a conversation when the person you are talking to just gets up and walks away? Or fiddles in the chair? Or looks everywhere but at you? How does this make you feel? Most people feel hurt. The listener acts as though he or she has absolutely no interest in what the speaker has to say. And yet, when it is their turn to talk, they expect, if not demand, attention.
Have you ever been in a heated conversation and realize that your partner has no idea what you have been saying? It could very well be the manner that you are delivering the speech, or it may be that your partner is a poor listener. Poor listening skills seem to be the majority and not the minority. Our country is so used to fast paced this and that, that we often forget how to slow down and just listen.
So how can we learn to be good listeners? How are some common ideas that seem to work wonders in any relationship:
1. Learn to listen using eye contact: Let the speaker know that you are interested in what is being said.
2. Be slow to speak: Sometimes, people speak to think out loud. Sometimes, all they really want is a shoulder to lean on and a willing ear to listen. By being slow to speak, you are allowing the speaker to work out or solve problems themselves.
3. Keep the secret: People trust you with information because they believe that you will not gossip and spread slander. Keep their trust by keeping things private; between the two of you.
4. Be Attentive: Learn to actively listen. Let the speaker know that you are actually listening, although you are not speaking, by saying things like, "yeah, hmmm, I know, thats true, okay, that makes sense," and so forth.
5. Show Gratitude: Let the speaker know that you feel honored that they were able to open up to you. If nothing personal was said, than let the speaker know that you had a great time listening and that you learned a lot. In a society that forgets to show gratitude, a simple use of kind words, can make someones day a little brighter.
6. Stay in Tune: Dont disappear in the middle of the conversation because your mind wandered. Whether you actually get up and walk away or let your mind wander elsewhere, its just plain rude. If you find that your attention span is small, actively repeat what is being said to you as the speaker is speaking.